THINGS WHICH MAY NEED RETURNING

The deceased might be wearing jewellery, which is usually returned to the next of kin. Sometimes in the case of Burial the relatives may wish wedding rings to remain on. Clothes are usually disposed of, unless the families make a specific request for the return of a particular garment.

Items such as order books and giro cheques will have to be returned to the appropriate DSS or Social Security Office. Make a note of any Pension Book or Order Book numbers before you send them back. The deceased's passport, driving licence, car registration documents, membership cards and National Insurance papers must all be returned to the relevant offices. Check for any library books that might need returning, also if there was any NHS equipment being used it will need to be returned to either the hospital or health centre from where it came.

It can be difficult enough dealing with bereavement without having to deal with the deceased's property. For this reason it is advisable to contact a Solicitor to help with such matters. The suggested Solicitors contained within this publication are there to help you overcome this difficult time.

Future financial help may be required; it is possible that you may qualify for help from the state. There is a free telephone enquiry line for Social Security - 0800 666 555. They should be able to help with any general benefit enquiries and will give you advice on how to go about claiming. Claim forms can be obtained from Benefit Offices and the Post Office.

GRIEVING

Grieving is a natural process that can take place after any kind of loss. When a loved one passes away this can be a very overpowering emotion that has to run its course. There is a whole succession of different feelings that can take some time to go through and must not be hurried. Although people are all individuals, the order in which they go through these feelings is very similar. For some hours or days following the death of someone who was close, most people feel totally stunned, a feeling of disbelief is common, even if the death had been expected, say after a long period of illness. However, this feeling of emotional numbness can help in dealing with the various practical arrangements that have to be made. However, this detachment from reality can become a problem if it goes on for too long.

To overcome this it can help to see the person who has died. Sometimes it is not until the actual Funeral that the reality of what has happened finally sinks in. Although it may be distressing to attend the Funeral, or to see the body, it is important to say good-bye to the ones we loved. It is often the case for people who did not do this to experience a great feeling of regret for years to come. After the feeling of numbness has gone it is often replaced by a sense of agitation. and a yearning for the person who has died. This can affect the bereaved in their everyday life, it may be difficult to relax, concentrate or even sleep properly. Some people experience extremely disturbing dreams, others say that they actually see their loved one everywhere they go, more commonly in the places that they used to spend time together. It is quite usual to feel angry at this time - towards doctors and medical staff for not preventing the death - towards people around them such as friends and relatives, or even towards to the person who has died.    Grief continued